Suddenly, Violence and Cruelty are Fun

I guess it is a way of protecting ourselves from psychological shock and pain.

When I was a little kid, I remember being very scared of dolls in the dark. I would imagine their eyes moved stared at me and blinked. I imagined their mouth moving whispering strange words and singing. I imagined their head moving. All that produced by my mind and mostly by my fear of being alone in the dark. I used to freeze, cry, run, hide and finally not sleep at all.

But I got tired of it. and decided to face them. Si I waited for the night and surrounded myself with dolls, ready to fight, but nothing happened, they didn´t even blink. Then I supposed it was inside me and not in them.

Some years after that, I started dreaming about the dolls. Every night a doll would attack me in my dreams, followed me and tried to chase me. They would have knives and monster faces. This was worse because in my dreams I wouldn't feel ready to fight, anything could happen and they would be super powerful.So I decided to make them real and fight them in my arena. That fear had to be beaten, either in my mind in reality or in both.

I got about 20 used baby dolls, found, stole and bought them  and with make up, fire and resin disfigured their faces and hands and made monsters of them. They would live in my room, sleep with me and be part of my world until the fear was gone. That was my decision. I saw them everyday, every night and every morning when I woke up. I kept them beside me at home.  After a month, there was nothing they could do to me any more, I wouldn´t even notice them, they became irrelevant to me.

Then the movie showed up. the Chucky series was on screens for years. That was my hardest test. Images and situations that were not controlled by me. The game of public fear. I saw them again and again. Until I understood its purpose, its mechanisms and the way people would massively and automatically respond of this kind of images an stories.

Fear is a powerful tool to rule. It is a weapon inside our adversary, inside or slave. If you let your fears be started up or controlled by outsiders, you are done. they will be inside your mind until you sleep with you fear and face it. Say insurance, banks, health services, grandma, government, mom, girlfriend, boss, wife, husband, anyone or anything that detonates those fears inside you.

Violence and Cruelty in the media, work as  tools to keep us silent, afraid and obedient. Fear and insecurity block our intelligence and creativity. They make us docile.  We find It  exciting as it is addictive. A limit between dying an surviving.

A recent wave of tv shows and series insist on showing direct violence, blood, tragedy and  cruelty (from xfiles to niptuck, true blood or even dexter). Fear is constantly communicated to widespread stories in  television, cinema and books. Feeding audiences with fear and uncertainty make softer audiences that do not think clearly, do not make smart decision, and do not show any criticism or opinion to other kinds of messages.

Fear and uncertainty are the best allies for insurance companies, low return investments, bad credit conditions, medical policies, retirement plans, and even the beauty and food industry, etc. All these companies develop messages based in people´s fears , fill us with uncertainty and then come to rescue us with services that do not exist.

Corporate and state terrorism work in a similar way. Fear of the economic crisis for example, makes us consume, work and pay taxes in a different way, Fear of losing our job, homes and comfort makes us obey whatever law or action the government may take in favor or banks and corpora tons to raising taxes or diminishing citizens rights. When we are afraid we do not think clearly.

So if you are afraid of something, just face it , analyze it, think why you fear that, what symbols are behind it and what does it move inside you. Then control it, see it, hear it, live with it and make it afraid of you. Don´t just let yourself go and enjoy it.

Fear is just a form of control today.

Una nación virtual: maniplaciones politicas y engaño masivo

Es un tema sobre el cual no se por donde comenzar. Es difícil ver como la gente de Cataluña cree ciegamente en sus dirigente y darse cuenta  que estan siendo manipulados políticamente por una burguesía millonaria, corrupta y avariciosa; que mas que trabajar por la construcción de una nación y su cultura, como lo creen la mayoria de quienes les siguen,  ven un negocio redondo en la creación de su propio país.

No es un secreto para nadie que Cataluña es una región próspera que gracias a la industria el turismo y los negocios ha logrado promocionarse a nivel mundial como destino turístico, tierra mágica y libertaria y lugar de negocios. Desde épocas antiguas el comercio y el intercambio han hecho de la zona un lugar propicio para la riqueza. Sin embargo también hay que decir que esta riqueza se encuentra concentrada en una élite de familias que permanentemente se preocupan de mantener y aumentar su poder económico, político y cultural.

En pocas palabras me atrevo a decir que el nacionalismo surgido después de la caída de franco es una fabricación de una élite para crear hegemonía disfrazado de patriotismo y liberación.

Es muy fuerte ver dia a dia como gente del común esta convencida que el independentismo de catalunña es fruto de una necesidad social o cultural y no ven el negocio que implica para quienes en realidad se benefician de ello.


Una vida diaria y servicios sociales totalmente politizados cumplen la función de fabricar una sociedad endogámica que se cierra a si misma de tal manera que roza los bordes de la intolerancia y la radicalización.  Contratos públicos y subvenciones adjudicados por apellido, partido político o promesa electoral. Derechos humanos y sociales que se respetan o ignoran  dependendiendo de la raza, credo, orientación sexual, apellido, código de identificación o lengua materna del implicado.

Cada día vemos más adolescentes que se niegan a hablar otra cosa que catalán, racistas, machistas y llenos de sentimientos de rencor que han aprendido a través de los medios. la escuela y los programas sociales. Jóvenes que se quedarán en su barrio o pueblo, nunca accederán a un erasmus, a interrelacionarse con otras culturas o a entender el mundo y que abiertamente expresan que los inmigrantes son una escoria, la diversidad un estorbo y el nacionalismo lo mejor que le puede pasar a Catalunya.

Vemos ademas una Catalunya totamente institucionalizada, creativamente infertil, regulada por el dictamen de estamentos oficiales, con un poer de censura a traves de la financion publica rotundo, con una fuerza represiva y policial impresionante, un estado de vigilancia permanente y una aparente libertad de ideologia y credo que no existen.  Todo ello ejercido sobre una población historicamente sometida, ingenua y ansiosa de una ilusión de libertad y nación.

Me pregunto yo si estos jóvenes son los que construirán la nueva y tercera dictadura, mas violenta, mas invasiva y mas invisible que la actual..

blood lost its meaning

In recent years television series, news, art, fashion, books, music, and even children´s toys an games involve blood in the form of joke, vampire, surgery, decoration and even food. Blood stood for year in  mind as an intimate, special and private matter frequently an emergency symbol.

Right now blood is no longer relevant. It doesn´t mean death, war or danger. It became low fat blood.

People see it and laugh and don't care, it does not mean anything any more. it is like seeing water or coca cola, just another red thing, just another liquid. But this makes us unsensitive to suffering, pain, death or sacrifice, makes us indifferent and cold to other people.makes our heart harder.

Blood should mean, should put us in alert, should make us care and it shoulnd´t be a joke.

 In the animal kingom, blood does have a meaning, means danger, food and survival, means death, means pain an means lack of protection.

Maybe we are getting dumb and letting our natural instincts die, we are forgetting about us being alive, we are slowly becoming neutral, gray, flat.

WHY IS THIS?

Keeping my mind clear

And now as if it wasn´t enough in my mind I have to worry abuout keeping it clear from hidden media messages, staying center in a sea o disturbing information that drives me away from the thing I dream and want to achieve.

Observing daily life around me I seee things change and become more complex everytime. I see media putting on my face things I normaly refuse or avoid.

• Blood as an irrelevant presence.
• Violence and cruelty as fun.
• Porn instead of sexuality.
• Conspiracies instead of government.
• A fake ecology.
• Clothes as uniforms.
• Food as poison.
• Poverty and misery instead of progress.

All of them things that put me apart from my real connection with the world and stand between my mind and the universe, like trying to distract me from what is inside me and real.

I ask myself why all this things suddenly appear. Why so many similar things at the same time. Why everything so standard? Has my vision broaden? has my brain woken up from some anaesthesic state?

I see people behaving like automats that don't think for themselves but act a stereotyped dolls, afraid of having an identity and willing to fit in a classification. just following a very predictable path a very obvious life, without expectation, just programmed surprises and fake excitement during their holidays, predictable answers, predictable jokes, predictable reactions,all inside a safezone that lets them stay comfortable and grow their fear of being themselves.

El Precio de la Nostalgia

Ha sido extraño encontrarme con esta imaagen un par de veces en Berlín. Es algo que detona sentimientos, ideas y me dirige a comprender la fuerza existente en la nostalgia y el desarraigo.

Estar atado al pasado es una condena fuerte, nos ata por un lado a miedos, esquemas, sistemas y limitaciones que deberiamos superar con la madurez pero a la vez nos recuerda valores, raices y origenes que forman parte de nuestra escencia.

Superar el pasado implica en un ejercicio de voluntad y comprensión muy fuerte y elaborado de los hechos que suceden en nuestra vida y del momento actual que vivimos. pocas veces nos detenemos a entender nuestra propia vida y generalmente actuamos instintiva y circunstancialmente. Sin embargo y de repente aparecen ante nosotros imágenes como esta, que nos revuelcan la existencia.

Ospaket es una tienda ubicada en Berlín (que yo sepa) en la cual los antiguos habitantes de la Alemania del este pueden encontrar todos aquellos productos, comida y memorabilia de una cultura que ya no existe tras la unión de las dos alemanias.. Al recorrer la tienda uno puede ver claramente la estética socialista en los productos, libros, autores, objetos del hogar, musica et. Todo respira un tiempo pasado y una manera de pensar que aunque quienes alli vivieran lo primero que hicieron fue huir de ello hoy lo añoran y lo compran a precios desorbitados.

Esto es como un túnel del tiempo que trae al presente a través de la compra, memorias, recuerdos y sobre todo objetos que detonan las emociones y un pasado que si no fue mejor que el presente hoy claramente ya no existe. El ícono del automóvil de Europa oriental con la  caja a cuestas atravesando la frontera hacia un nuevo futuro hoy recorre permanentemente las calles de Berlin como si nunca fuera a desaparecer.

Un confort, un placebo y finalmente una realidad virtual que solo está en la añoranza de quienes vivieron esa transición.

Looking forward for a change

after six years of working hard and advancing very slowly I think I have seen the real face of this city and may even the general face of the country. And I don´t like it.

being 41 now, with my dreams and projects on hold is a very difficult situation. Should I give up and stay here trying to survive and forgetting about being constantly tormented by expectations and impossible ideas or should I start again in a new environment and give it a try for the third...maybe fourth time?

I now wish to run away from mediocrity, laziness, lack of interest and rudeness, but am I going in the right direction?

leaving this Virtual country and virtual city, where everything is a lie, just a facade may be a good a idea, but on the other side I don´t really know the place where I am going, don´t know the language and dont´t know their way.

this is not my place and know know but where is it, once I thought my place would be anywhere I was. I thought I would adapt and survive and I´ve done it. Now I feel I just belong, don´t agree and don´t want to get used to the way it is here.

I am definitively needing a change, a fresh start, an opportunity to try my best again and still try to make before I get too disappointed about myself in this world.

Muro mental de piedra

No supe en que momento perdi la medida de mis responsabilidades y convertí mis dias en un cumplir sin parar?

la verdad es que no me di cuenta.
me llené de angustia y de preocupaciones.
eliminé mis oportunidades de placer y disfrute y me dediqué a sobrevivir .

Al principio parecía un reto interesante y una nueva etapa en la vida, hoy es una rutina insoportable que no me da descanso, ni me permite parar de pensar o de sentir miedo als 24 horas del día.

A veces casi no duermo sintiendo ansiedad y miedo de un futuro que ni siquiera puedo imaginar.

Mientras tanto,
todo a mi alrededor está quieto.
Como un muro de piedra que me rodea
y que no logro derrumbar desde adentro.

Fué asombroso mirar a la calle por la ventana
y darme cuenta que no conozco mi calle, ni las tiendas que hay en ella
no habito mi entorno, ni mi presente
solo pienso, pienso y pienso,
en todo lo que podría pasar.
Todo lo terrible y como combatirlo.


Y mientras tanto afuera, simplemente llueve como cualquier otro día y la gente solo se preocupa de llegar a casa para no pasar tanto frio.